ADHD & Energy Abundance: The Good, The Bad… and The Burnout
My ADHD is heavily flavored with the H (i.e. hyperactivity). I have a crazy abundance of energy, and I have learned over the years that unless I channel all of that energy, it will turn into a painful restlessness.
So, when it came time for me to do my practicum and internship for my doctoral program, I made some crazy decisions regarding my time.
Since my practicum and internship were both unpaid gigs, I had to keep my full-time paid job (i.e. work). My practicum required me to work 2 days a week, so I altered my work schedule to work four ten-hour days. Thus, combined (i.e. my job and my practicum) I was working 6 days a week, and from what I could gather, I was doing great! This lasted for a year. Then I transitioned into my internship. This position required that I work 3 days. I kept my four ten-hour days at work and added the three days at the internship site. Combined (i.e. my job and my internship), I was working 7 days a week. I was to do this for 15 months. After a few months I was beginning to realize that my energy had it’s limits.
Seven months in, the pandemic hit.
My work and internship sent me home for two weeks. Being forced to stop ceased the momentum that was keeping my meat suit going. All of a sudden, I found myself slumped on the couch only watching television that featured zombies. I had become a zombie rising. My brain was a liquid goo that was rotting inside my heavy skull. I realized at that moment on that couch watching zombies on television that this was burnout! I was like a decaying zombie numbly going about their business.
But I thrive being insanely busy. My superpower is ENERGY!
Yes… and no. It also became my kryptonite.
While we can normally be busy bees, gleefully bouncing from task to task, our bodies and minds do need rest. A time to reset. Time for our brains to refocus. Time to mend, reflect, and grow. What my zombie/pandemic experience taught me was to set firm boundaries with my time.
I accomplish this now by being more thoughtful and realistic about my time. I acknowledge my time blindness and seek outside guidance if needed. I also have become much kinder to myself and more generous in regards to allowing myself to have downtime.
I invite you to also find some downtime.
